do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
