Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
