Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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