I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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