She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize