question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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