I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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