i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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