Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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