How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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