Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
