god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
