How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can I color on your dick again?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
