It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize