I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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