i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
