i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I want her autograph on my taint
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
