Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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