my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
