nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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