According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
