I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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