I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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