I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
