I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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