Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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