So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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