Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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