a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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