After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
