Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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