quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
