i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
