She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
