yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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