Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize