Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
