Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize