I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
