Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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