Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
