I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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