Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
