sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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