we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh god it's open bar.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
