Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
