put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
