Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
