If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
