i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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