God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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