honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
