Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
