What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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