it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
