i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
