So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
