And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
