so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize