I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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