who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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