It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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