talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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