So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
