Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
