I heard we made out
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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