I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
