Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
